


No Man Is An Island

by thefangirlingdead



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, post currents drabble, stiles isn't so great at comforting people until he is, this episode just gave me so many feels okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 09:56:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/885893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I just really wanted to write something involving Stiles comforting Derek after everything that happens in 3x07. Mostly just angst and fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Man Is An Island

**Author's Note:**

> _And no man is an island, oh this I know_  
>  _But can't you see?_  
>  _Maybe you were the ocean, when I was just a stone_  
>  \- [Black Flies](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPXJXxfauis) \- Ben Howard

Derek buries Boyd alone.

While Stiles can't do dead bodies, he and Scott and Isaac offer to be there - Boyd is their _friend_ after all - but Derek insists on doing it alone.

_It's my fault he's dead._

And while none of them, including Cora, think that Derek should have to do it alone, they listen to him. They're not sure if it's because the last thing that Derek needs right now is someone arguing with him, or if it's because they decide that he needs his space, but they let him do it on his own.

The next day, Scott and Isaac stay away from his apartment and the Hale household - where Boyd is most likely to be buried, alongside Erica's grave - and Cora is nowhere to be found, probably off somewhere with Peter. Stiles, however, can't stay away. He's not sure why he does it. Maybe it's because he's worried that Derek will need someone there for him, and while he's certain that he's the last person that the guy wants to see, he hangs around.

Derek leaves for his old house just shortly after nightfall, and Stiles watches him pull away from his apartment from the confines of his Jeep, hidden in the shadows. He toys with the idea of following him, but decides against it. There aren't many places to hide along the road to the Hale household, and the last thing he needs is to piss Derek off by getting caught following him. So instead, he stays confined in his Jeep, sitting alone outside of Derek's apartment, waiting for him to return.

It takes a little over an hour before Stiles sees the pair of headlights through sleepy eyes, pulling back up to the building, and he sits up straight, watching him. When Derek steps out of his car, he looks tired. His shoulders are slumped forward, head hung low. He wipes away at his eyes as he spares one last glance at his car before making his way to the building and _holy shit. Is Derek Hale crying?_

While he watches Derek make his way inside, Stiles silently wonders which is worse, losing everyone in your pack all at once, or watching them die slowly, one by one. He tries not to think about the fact that Derek has dealt with both.

After the door closes behind him, Stiles knows that it's his time to leave. He did what he wanted to. He waited for Derek to get back to make sure he was okay. His plan had never consisted of making his presence known of talking to the guy, but now, staring up at the building - at the light that flicks on in Derek's apartment - he wants to follow him inside. Wants to be there for him, like a good friend. He had never considered Derek Hale a _friend_ , but he realizes that he should. They've saved each other’s lives how many times now? They _should_ be friends.

And Derek needs a friend right now, because he is definitely _not_ okay.

And even though he knows that it's a bad idea - friends or not, Derek either won't answer his door, or if he does, he'll probably completely shut Stiles out - he finds himself taking a deep breath and getting out of the Jeep. He finds himself in front of Derek's door within minutes and takes a deep breath before knocking.

When he doesn't hear anything, not even footsteps, on the other side of the door, Stiles' heart sinks. Maybe Derek knew he had been there all along. Maybe he doesn't want to see him or anyone else. He probably doesn't want to deal with any more stupid teenagers. He doesn't want to come to the door. Stiles counts to thirty in his head before he turns to walk away, and that's when he finally hears the loud _clunk_ of a lock, and the slide of the door being opened.

Derek looks almost as bad as he did the day before, slumped in the water in his apartment, holding Boyd in his arms. His face looks absolutely _defeated_ and his eyes are red and swollen. He's _definitely_ been crying, and that's what really gets Stiles.

He realizes abruptly that he doesn't have a plan - has no idea what he's supposed to do or say - and mentally slaps himself. He clears his throat, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck before asking quietly, "Hey, uh... Can I come in?"

Derek nods shallowly - Stiles almost misses it - and steps to the side, allowing him in before sliding the door back in place behind him. He turns and walks away until he's standing at the window, still painted crudely with the alpha pack symbol, and Stiles is certain that he's resisting the urge to smash it out. In fact, he probably would if it didn't mean missing one of the only windows in his apartment.

"Why are you here, Stiles?" Derek grumbles out, still facing away from him.

Stiles mouth gapes, opening and closing as he struggles to come up with a good answer. When Derek turns, though, after a few moments of silence, he panics, settling with, "I was watching you." He mentally face-palms the second that the words are out, though, because then Derek's eyes are narrowing.

"Why?"

"Okay, that was stupid," Stiles amends, quickly trying to come up with an explanation, "I wasn't _spying_ on you, I just - I…" He sighs, " _Look_ , Derek, I know you said you didn't want anyone here, but I didn't think it was fair that you had to do this all on your own, so I uh... I came to check on you. I wanted to make sure you were okay." The words tumble out all in one breath and afterward, Stiles snaps his mouth shut.

 _Shut up, you're talking too much_.

"Oh," Is all Derek breaths in response, turning around again to look back out the window. And _that_ surprises Stiles. There's no sassy comeback or angry retort. No _"Do I look okay, Stiles?"_ or taunting him or calling him an idiot. Just a soft _oh_ before he turns back around, shoulders slumping.

And _no_ , Derek is most definitely _not_ okay.

Before he knows what he's doing, Stiles is taking a few steps forward, arm outstretched. He pauses just behind Derek, letting out a deep breath, before letting his hand come down to rest on his shoulder, much like it had the day before, when Derek had been kneeling in water, breaking down in front of everyone. "I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I'm here for you," Stiles mumbles, glancing down at the floor. He can't bear to look at Derek's slumped form or his distorted, teary-eyed reflection in the glass. "We all are. Me, Scott, Isaac. Your sister..."

"But not Boyd. Or Erica," Derek mutters in response, letting his head hang.

" _But it's not your fault, Derek_ ," Stiles argues gently. It's the one thing that's been nagging at him all day. It's _not_ Derek's fault, as much as he may think that it is. How could he ever known that the alpha pack was coming? How could he have known what they were going to do to Erica? He had told Boyd to stay back, not to get involved. It was Boyd who had made the choice to fight for him. Boyd had chosen to protect Derek. Why _wouldn't_ he want to? Derek was his alpha.

"How is it _not_ my fault?" Derek grits out. He turns, shaking Stiles’ hand off of him, so they're facing one another. And suddenly, Stiles can't avoid those deep, sad eyes anymore. He can't take his eyes off of Derek as he talks. "They were promised so much more. The bite was supposed to improve their lives. Not... _end_ them. I made a promise to protect them. _Nobody_ else would, and even I failed them."

"Derek-"

"How long until they go after Isaac next?" Derek asks, voice heavy with sorrow, "What if I can't save him either?"

"Hey-"

"None of them deserve _this_ ," Derek mutters, gesturing around them, "I've failed them. I-"

" _Derek_ ," Stiles interrupts at last, reaching forward to grip Derek's arms in order to silence him. It seems to do the trick - Derek stops talking in favor for glancing down at where Stiles is touching him - and Stiles swallows the lump in his throat. "Believe me when I say that there's _nothing_ you could have done-"

" _Exactly_ ," Derek argues, "I couldn't even save them, I-"

"Hey," Stiles interrupts softly, but it works. He squeezes Derek’s arms gently. " _Believe me_. Nobody is blaming you but yourself. This _isn't_ your fault."

"But-"

" _And_ you don't have to do this alone," Stiles continues with a small smile on his lips, "I know that we may not be the best of friends, but I'm here for you. We all are. We're-"

He stutters, the words getting caught in his throat.

"We're _pack_ , Derek."

Derek looks up at him at that, from where his eyes had been trained on the floor. They're brimming with tears, just threatening to spill over, and when he speaks, his voice is small. Weak. It's the most vulnerable Stiles has ever seen him, and that includes the time he almost died in front of him. "I don't want to let you down, too," Derek mutters, "You don't deserve me." He blinks and a few tears spill, sliding easily down his cheeks.

"Hey, whoa _whoa,_ _Derek_ ," Stiles stammers. Somehow, his hands move from Derek's arms to cup his face, holding him still. He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears on his cheeks, and Derek's hands automatically reach up, gripping around Stiles' wrists in return. They're practically holding onto one another for dear life. "Don't say that. _Stop it_."

"It's true," Derek mutters.

" _No, no it's not_ ," Stiles argues. He tilts his head, searching Derek's eyes for _anything_ other than sadness and self hatred. His heart practically breaks when he doesn't see anything. " _Hey_ ," He says softly, smiling slightly at him even though he feels as though _he'll_ start crying at any moment too, "Hey, stop that. You're fine. Everything's going to be fine. You've still got us. You've got me. We'll get through this."

"No we won't," Derek argues, voice small.

"Yes we will," Stiles assures. He can feel tears on his own cheeks now, but he manages a small, reassuring smile at Derek regardless, "This will pass. Okay? You just - you've got to hold on."

When Derek looks up at him again, it makes his chest ache, "How?"

Stiles opens his mouth to speak, but he doesn't have an answer. He has no idea how they're going to make it through this. He's not used to being the hero. He's not used to being the one with the plan. _Fuck_ , why isn't Scott here to come up with something?

He decides to bullshit it, forcing another small smile before replying, "Well, you've got me. And I'm basically a master at making it through awful bullshit without a plan."

Surprisingly, that earns a small smile from Derek as well, and before he knows what he's doing, Stiles is leaning forward in return, bowing Derek's head to press a small, fleeting kiss on his forehead. He's not completely certain why he does it, but the action reminds him of something his mom used to do to him when he was little, crying about a scraped knee or a broken toy or something. She'd scoop him up, promise to fix it, and press a kiss to his forehead, and suddenly, everything would be okay.

When he pulls away, Derek is still holding desperately onto his wrists. His eyes are wide, scared, and his mouth is open, as if to speak, but the words seem lost on his tongue. It's silent between the two of them for a long moment, and Stiles is the first to break it.

"It's going to be alright," He says softly. It isn't until then that he realizes how close their faces are, mere inches apart. If he wanted to, he could probably count Derek's eyelashes, stuck together with wet tears. His eyes dart over his face quickly, and Derek just stares at him in return, waiting. "I promise," Stiles finishes, swallowing the lump in his throat.

He sees it coming, but it's still a surprise when Derek's grip on his wrists tightens just slightly and he pulls Stiles closer - _so close_ \- until their noses are just barely brushing, foreheads pressed together. Stiles closes his eyes, sucking in a deep breath.

"Thank you, Stiles," Derek breaths softly, and at that, Stiles is moving, closing the remaining gap between them to press their lips together. Derek tastes like sweat and tears and he clings onto Stiles for dear life, but it's okay. For that one second, everything is going to be okay.


End file.
